Rambling thoughts of a feverish writer at 12:45 in the morning. Created from real live notes written on a notepad illuminated by cellphone screen, for whatever that’s worth.
Wearing pajamas for the first time in thirty years, huddled under every blanket I could steal from the linen closet I absently wondered why I was shivering. Even though my immune system was flooding my veins with magma in a Scorched Earth campaign against the viral intruders, I could not get warm.
Well, that’s not quite true. I was warm. The digital thermometer’s frantic beeping had notified me that my temperature was 103.1 five minutes ago. I knew I needed to exhume myself from my mountain of wool, felt, and fuzzy acrylic to get more ibuprofen but every time I poked my nose out of my little cave the chill of the seventy-degree air on my skin made me shake uncontrollably. So I retreated and tried to come up with a better plan. Nothing useful came to mind.
I stayed curled up, waiting for the shaking to go away from my last fruitless attempt to venture forth and spent those moments cheering on the tiny soldiers who were attempting murder me by boiling my brain in order to eradicate the enemy. Was my brain aware that it was trying to kill us? I’m guessing not. I appreciated the effort anyway. At least someone was doing something. I was pretty useless all things considered. I couldn’t even get out of bed.
Inspiration struck. I remembered that I had put a pair of socks at the foot of the bed. Socks make me too warm all the time. Maybe if I could find those socks with my toes I could get them to my hands and put them on. Surely that’d allow me to make the twenty-foot super marathon to the medicine cabinet. I sent my right foot, the one with the most prehensile toes questing about and to my amazement located them easily. This must be a sign.
After armoring my feet against the chill of the hardwood floor, I finally slithered out of bed and washed down a pair of tablets with a mouthful of cold water. By the time I managed to get my carcass back beneath the blankets I was shaking uncontrollably, but victory had been achieved.
Within a few minutes, I went from being chilled to the bone to frantically shedding layers. The drugs had made my brain realize its possibly deadly mistake and instead of shivering it was time to sweat. Finally, after removing my socks and all the coverings but the flannel sheet I prepared for sleep hoping my legions of faithful defenders would rest and be ready to offer a less violent and self-destructive resistance.
Before I could sleep I reached to the side table where my faithful notepad waited. Notes from this great battle must be recorded. For posterity, and so I could share my near delirium with you, my faithful readers.
(Author’s note, I did go to the doctor today and got antibiotics for my fucking bronchitis.)